#momentnumbersixthousand

starting to feel antsy. thinking about all the things still left undone. dont want to give into the heavy feelings. shit on my mind. unknowns slowly floating to the top. afraid of scary outcomes. trying not to focus on them and shift the mind, when i find us there. constant self-regulations. can be tiring but cant give into that either. aint nobody else to lean on. bet not never tell nobody but gawd. proa’ly wouldnt know how to lean on anybody anyways, been so long. just gotta keep moving. regardless. whether worthy or unworthy, just gotta keep moving. going dry my eyes, makes some tea and start from where i am.